In layman's terms it means I have not confronted someone directly in a long time.
When I confronted an employee on his disrespectful manner in speaking to me I was fired up. However, I did not forget to use "I" message to express how I felt. To my surprise, the employee came back to me a few minutes later and thanked me for sharing my feelings with him. Then we exchanged thoughts.
It's rare to find someone who's willing to admit when he's wrong, especially an employee in jail. That person has self respect.